Yesterday, August 31, 2011, was the date that we brought Adela home to live with us. Adela is 89. She has Alzheimer's and broke her back twice with two spinal compression fractures in 2010 so she is in a wheelchair. She is also blind and partially deaf. Though I must say that she can see Armando, my partner, give each other looks and sometimes hears what we are saying when we are talking in whispers.

Adela is Armando's mom. I have known her for the last 8 years, or it could be 9. Armando and I never marked the date that we first started dating, so we don't really know when the date was, or for the fact which year it was. We have it narrowed it down to either 2003 or 2004 and it could be either October or March. All that matters is we are committed and we love each other.

Adela and I hit it off from our first meeting. I like to cook and Adela was a fabulous cook when I first met her. She was the food editor for the "New Mexico Magazine" for over 10 years. She started this position in her late 60's and quit right before I met her in her late 70's. We would spend hours discussing recipes and menus and how to tweak them.

Adela was also a wonderful seamstress. She owned her own business, "Draperies by Adela" and created exceptional drapes and matching bedspreads, as well as pillows and other accessories for bedrooms, and draperies for other rooms in the house or business. She was very successful. She was written up as one of the progressive Hispanic women of New Mexico. Her son still operates the business today, but has narrowed it down to providing blinds for commercial construction.

Adela has been in and out of several nursing facilities. She was in one home with her husband Harry. They shared a room until Harry passed in March of 2010. Then she was in and out of various homes until she came to the Cottages in Albuquerque. What a marvelous place for people with Alzheimer's!! They offer loving staff, great food, and a safe environment. There was a lovely garden area with patio furniture where the "family members" could go and sit and enjoy watching the birds.

Unfortunately, my salary paid for her stay, over and above the long term health insurance, and I got laid off as the business shut down. I am 54, have some significant health problems, and there are not a lot of places looking to hire folks like me. So we brought her home. I will be her primary care giver. The first thing we had to do was to buy a larger home, which we did. That meant I had to put my home on the market. It was a small two bedroom townhouse. I believe that sometimes God does like you as a lady who was already qualified, came and bought it three days after it was listed for asking price. Thank you, God. Now, just let it close.

I had been telling Adela for six weeks that we were going to be moving her to this house. We brought her over here to the house so she could see it before we moved. She even picked her room. Armando wanted to put her in the middle room (the small one) and Adela said "Hell NO! If I am going to stay here I want the big bedroom!" So she does.

She had been going back and forth between wanting to stay at the Cottages where she has lots of friends and gets hugs from all of the staff and coming to live with us. She can sit at her window and watch the birds from the feeder that I have provided her or she can see her son everyday.

Sometimes when I come to visit she wants to know how many days it is before she can pack her stuff. The next time she tells me that her father says it costs only $15 a day (I WISH!) and that he can afford to keep her there at the Cottages. Her father died in 1951, but in her mind she has conversations with him on a daily basis.

So yesterday I went to the Cottages to move her. I should inform you, that my mother also has Alzheimer's as well so I am fairly familiar with the disease. I knew better than to turn up in her room with boxes and just start packing. So, I walked in and sat down and asked her if she knew what day it was. She did not know. I told her it was moving day. She got very upset. She did not want to move as in her current state no one had told her about this before and she was not prepared!! I told her that we had been talking about this for the last six weeks, that she had been to the house, and had picked out her room. We talked for a little longer, and I got her a pill to calm her down some.

Then I went for the suitcase and boxes. I quickly packed the suitcases, and boxes and before she knew it we had the car packed, and she was in the front seat. After a lot a finagling I got her wheelchair in the back seat.

From the Cottages to the house is about 20 minutes. We commented on all of the clouds in the skies, the trees and the large trucks. It was a pleasant drive even with part of the bird feeder pole sticking into the ashtray!

When we got her home, Armando and I were so anxious, we fed her and watered her over and over! BIG MISTAKE!! We gave her too much water. I made her homemade chocolate pudding all the time hearing her asking when she was going to go home. We kept telling her she was home. This was her new home.

At this point I should mention, that we were a little behind the ball on the bathroom renovation thanks to Frank the contractor. We had scheduled with him to start the week before and due to his lack of planning, we did not get finished on time, so in the middle of bringing her into the house they were renovating her bathroom and she could not roll her wheelchair over certain tiles that were in the middle of the doorway!! What a mess!!

So we fed her a grilled ham and cheese with fruit and chocolate pudding. She did not eat much. Proof she was upset. We took her to the bathroom, and she went to bed for the night. Armando heard her get up at 11 (I was dead to the world) and he took her to the bathroom.

The doctor and the nurses told us before we took her out that we needed to be up when she woke up in the morning. Then they told us that she got up at 6 am. So we got up at 5:50 so we could have the coffee made. We waited and waited. At 7:30 I went in and woke her up only to find a puddle of urine on the laminate flooring. She had got in her wheelchair and peed on the floor and in the bed.

What did I learn? 1) Wake up a few times in the night and take her to the bathroom or put a diaper on her until she is more at home. 2) Don't give her anything to drink after 5pm. 3) Take it one day at a time. 4) Be thankful for my washer and dryer.

Adela got up this morning and ate a donut, along with a fried egg and toast with jelly. She also had two cups of coffee. I should go and get her up before she pees the bed again.

To anyone who reads this...God bless and best of luck.